How Do You Deal With Your Entanglements? (A.k.a. Self-management/awareness)

Entanglement sources

• Your own sense of “rightness”
• Your own previous involvement
• You've been put into dual roles or multiple part-time roles
• Personal tensions between you and other(s)
• History (length of involvement)
• When you know things that are “secret”
• Habitual disruptors / hecklers
• Hubris
• Personal insecurities

Coping strategies P = Planning, E = Execution

(P) Use an outside facilitator

(P)(E) Use gently leading questions

(P)(E) Be willing to change roles / hat

(P)(E) Be intentional/clear about changing roles / hat

(P) Find a proxy for airing your perspective

(E) Get feedback from an observer

(P) “J” (MBTI) facilitator needs more awareness of “J”-ness and tendency to jump in

(E) Put hands in pocket and count to 10

(P) Thoughtful retrospective design, visualize, breathe deeply

(P) Outline a script

(P)(E) Be aware of intent of each phase / step / activity

(E) Acknowledge mistakes you made as (soon as) you catch yourself

(P) Plan for covering your “Hot Buttons”

(E) Give yourself some time before the retro to calm/center

(E) Keep practicing / Just Do It

(E) “I could be wrong” and that's fine

(P)(E) Have a co-facilitator

(P) Reflect on your experience

(E) Change your physical perspective: SOS (Schnaufen, Ortswechsel, Sehen = Breathe, Move, See)

(E) Recap / Walk Back